detached mode

weird thoughts. ewwww...seriously...ewwww. can't type it out. it's just too ewwww.

anyway, my table's been "nominated" as a finalist in a beauty contest for tables. and i'm supposed to market it. uhuh. eeyup. can't i just let the thing speak for itself? like seriously, pictures paint thousands of words so...let them speak!!! anyhow, i'd take snapshots of my own cozy corner and you can judge for yourself if it's worthy of being a beauty queen. yech.

i'm kinda tired today. quite a bit of travelling to do today. here, there and everywhere it would seem. anyhow, i made folks happy. it was chocy day!!! and i was given chocies too thanks to mr super duper nice dude. seriously, he's the nicest guy i know and erm, i'm one of the meanest people to them, erm, non-fairer sex so when i say he's nice, i mean it. sometimes, i think he gets pushed around and you kinda want to throttle him for allowing himself to be used as such but because he's so bloody nice, you can't bring yourself to do it. in fact, when i first joined the place, i used to tease the folks around me relentlessly. he was one of those i teased. but after a while, i couldn't bear being so un-nice to him. i still tease him but not as mercilessly as before. he's just that nice.

actually, since i'm talking about work...i might as well blabber on about the this-and-thats of my working world. i've got great colleagues. seriously. i mean, there're always those occasional arseholes and beetches but i've managed to find pretty good friends in a number of my colleagues. i'm rather chameleon-ish. i can get along with most folks and my interests can be a little, diversified. so, in a funny way, i manage to find a way of connecting to different people in different ways and somehow or other, we become pretty fast friends. i'm not saying that they're the bestest friends in the world but having folks to talk to about mindless things just makes things a heck of a lot nicer at work.

i will miss this place when i go. i definitely will. i have found friends here but, i'd always be able to make new ones. it's a bit of a torture lah to do so all over again but c'est la vie. i'll survive.

oh...i don't believe in best friends. just so u know. i believe in good friends but not best buds. there just ain't no such thing in my book. perhaps, it's part of the detachment that makes me me.

u know how people turn to different things to "survive"? well, one of the means in which i do so is to detach myself from the people i care about, especially when times are particularly rough. i don't quite know how to explain it. i just find myself alone. as in, i find solace in being alone. it's one of those things i hold very dear. i don't do the exchange of emotions thing. i mean, sometimes, i find myself lying straight-faced and all. folks will ask, how things were going or trying to give some kind of comfort in times of shitness but erm...most times, i lie about how i'm doing. i just whackify things. and sometimes, people get the impression that i'm quite a goondu (fool) or worse, a bimbo but i don't give crap about what they think. but, i guess it can get a little misleading and at times, i want to kick myself for not being honest but it has become a freakin' reflex action to basically lie, or to put it in more politically correct terms, hide the truth. i suck at handling emotions lah...especially my own. it's such a pain. and i creep out when i hear things like "getting in touch with your emotions". it just CREEPS THE CREEPIES out of me.

funny. i'm being emo, aren't i? real funny for the detached.