cannot lah...

gee. my first stir of the year.

went for a wedding earlier. saw many familiar faces. frens from secondary. from jc. from uni. from long-ago but never forgotten trips. from wherever else i can't quite recall.

people have changed quite incredibly. it's nice to see them. at least, most of them.

which brings us to him. he's not an ex-boyfriend or anything of that sort. he's a friend. someone whom i might have referred to in a prev post or something. i don't know why ok...but aiyah...simply put, i like him. but i also know that it isn't healthy to keep such thoughts so i kinda shove them away. and it kinda works.

however, seeing him there, with you in the flesh makes it incredibly hard. furthermore, it did not help that people kept commenting we looked like a couple (like hell we did) and a friend obviously trying to "stir" things up. it did not help that we hung out after the wedding and there being 4 folks and 2 cars, i wound up taking his. it did not help that he sent me home. it just didn't help and thus, this always happens. this is a feeling of confusion, heart playing the drums, uneasiness and a sense of wistfulness. macam, this is so effin' unreal. it's a very uncertain kinda feeling and frankly dudes, it's not something i enjoy.

i need to get it out of my system. seriously. u got a plan?