I am horribly affected these days.
I cannot seem to focus. And everything seems just a little off. While I should be thankful for some things I have, I cannot help but feel really bad about things I am losing or have lost.
Do you know what it feels like to be an outcaste?
I have been one for a large part of my life. Never quite part of anything. Never quite mattered but now...when you've been part of something for so long...to be an outcaste just hurts. I wonder if this was what F and S went through. And T. I feel horrible. Thing is, others might think I'm simply making a mountain out of a molehill but it's the little things that make me realize...I am no longer wanted or needed. And that hurts beyond anything.
Is it really my conjecture? Am I thinking too hard? But is what I'm saying making sense?
Can I handle yet another heartbreak?
I don't like people very much...they hurt me.
Again, it goes back to what is it that I want?
1 comment:
u hv not been blogging since long time.
hope u r ok...
I know u said u need a listener, not help.
so Fine!
I read thru all ur blogs..
but u stopped blogging!!
we don't know each other at all.
But I really feel for u..
that's why writing to u.
I wanted to help u so much coz I had many ups and downs too and I too kept things to myself (mostly). it was very difficult time. so I cud relate to u. I felt like helping u (as I got helped), but u denied any help.
But back then, I also used to feel that I just wished someone cud listen without interacting face to face and I also thought that I need no help from someone at all.
Well if u think that u will hv to meet me to get help - WRONG
I just wanted to give u free advice over the internet..
I went thru lot of emotional ups and downs in my life too. LOTSSSSSS before I discovered a great knowledge/wisdom from the wise.
It was not some jazzy stuff.. it was very simple, plain, truth about life which was put in front of me in its pure form. since then I am seeking the truth. and that is how when I was searching for my own page "seeking truth", I accidently came across ur blog.
I will talk abt the truth that was put forth by the wise .. just in brief .. 1st of all there was simply accepting the fact that there is suffering in everyone's life. It is due to our attachments and only we can overcome our suffering by getting rid of our attachments.
Thing is... pleasure and pain comes hand in hand.
Like when u hv pleasurable feeling, and u get attached to it, enjoy it; u will consequently hv pain on losing it. Simple law to understand.
If u don't get attached too much with the pleasurable feeling, then u hv less pain (like u said when u weren't too attached with boys, when someone did break ur heart, u didn feel the pain as much).
So more the attachment, more the pain in life.
u seem to be intelligent enf to understand this bit.
But the big question is how to get rid of our attachments???
as a commoner I hadn't got a clue myself
If u are interested u can mail me (coz I don't even know if u r interested to know all this).. I hv got so much stuff I hv been reading thru and all is available for FREE via books, internet. I will send u all these links and files that I read.
Being closer to truth is the best thing. You see things clearly and as they are. Truth is the best refuge u shud rely on (u need no further listeners/friends for support). u become the best support for urself
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