I am horribly affected these days.

I cannot seem to focus. And everything seems just a little off. While I should be thankful for some things I have, I cannot help but feel really bad about things I am losing or have lost.

Do you know what it feels like to be an outcaste?

I have been one for a large part of my life. Never quite part of anything. Never quite mattered but now...when you've been part of something for so long...to be an outcaste just hurts. I wonder if this was what F and S went through. And T. I feel horrible. Thing is, others might think I'm simply making a mountain out of a molehill but it's the little things that make me realize...I am no longer wanted or needed. And that hurts beyond anything.

Is it really my conjecture? Am I thinking too hard? But is what I'm saying making sense?

Can I handle yet another heartbreak?

I don't like people very much...they hurt me.

Again, it goes back to what is it that I want?