snapshots of the day

Allo, allo...

This is one of my more mundane crap entry thing. Which is like most of my entries...whatever.

Well, had a chinese wedding lunch to attend today. Obviously, it was an expensive affair. Phreak, he must have spent a bomb. But then again, most weddings are like that, aren't they? (Is it even necessary? Sigh...) But, it was indeed very nicely done and he obviously put a lot of thought into the whole planning of the event which I think is commendable and much appreciated by one and all. At least, I did. Plus, I met my buddy from my prev. workplace! She looked great and sheesh, I miss her humour so much. Funny, funny girl.

Amazingly, the whole thing ended pretty promptly and we got to scoot off by 3.30. That was when we took a walk down the riverside towards almost every female's utopia - shopping malls. Managed to get a wedding gift (bankrupt aku bulan ni dibuatnya...) for yet another colleague. He's a real nice guy so it seemed rather assholic not to get him something. So anyway, in between the browsing and shopping, we figured that there's something real wrong at work and yet, the main folks don't even seem to see it. It's incredulous how easily some folks are taken in by showiness and obviously, spirit dampening. Hence, I quite honestly don't care about what my performance grade's going to be. It's just crap lah. It's like, the more you show the better you do and I just don't buy that. I think it's utter bull and whatever lah. Talking or writing about it just gets to me and it isn't healthy. I'm just concerned about next year. The people who are able to see through such acts and have the decency to look beyond the superficial are leaving and...what's going to happen then? Whatever lah...I'm just going to do a bimbo act lah and look forward to the superficial such as - vivocity's going to make a great place for doing work coz it has such a cozy ambience and a perfect view...yeah, that's me...I need to be comfortable and relaxed...It helps the brain ease up and think better.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm truly in the right job. I mean, I don't regret taking this up. I've made great friends and created fond memories and to a certain extent, I might have been of some use to some folks but increasingly, I've felt a certain "disconnection" from my job. I used to be excited about new things and was incredibly open to changes etc but of late, I just don't quite give a damn. Everything's turning out to be a charade and I'm just bloody sick of it. I want to help. I just want to help. I don't freaking need the recognition but I cannot accept having arses being held up as shining beacons of light when ....aarrghh...this is just annoying. Eff it lah, crap, it's not worth it.

I have also started to rethink my "dream" of long ago. I'm a dreamer lah so got many dreams but reality's so far away...Well, I used to envision setting up a school of sorts but I guess that was borne out of an idealism that was not rooted in reality. I know nuts about management and frankly, I will never be happy managing something like that even though the idea's all well and good so erm, scrape that. My other dream's more realistic (not much more lah) but it's something I would probably enjoy above all else...I used to dream that I could set up a gift-shop of sorts cum bookstore...Though the focus would be on the gift aspect. It's not really a gift store in a sense where people can come in and get something and be done with it but rather, it's a service that's being offered. My dream was to help people get the "perfect" gift. As in, instead of just selling a gift off the shelf, my job is to spend time with each client and gather information about the person that the client's getting a gift for and thus work on getting a "perfect" gift complete with the packaging etc for that person. It's like concierge but specific to gift-giving. My main point is, I love gifts that have been well-thought out and somehow, in today's world, people get too busy so erm my service can help? Then again, that'd just make folks even more complacent and thoughtless and erm, that's no good either eh? Fine, guess I got to scrape that too?

Aiyah...for now, I'm just going to brave through whatever comes my way. Whatever it is, each experience is a learning point in itself so I'd just take it like going for classes or taking up a course or something.

Ok, besides the whole crappadoodle nonsense, back to my day....

My colleague left a little earlier leaving me to wander on my own. Now, this is a very dangerous thing to do. My NETS is not safe when I'm alone. And true enough, it wasn't. I was walking along in Suntec City when I realized eh, got this IT annex thing of sorts so erm, I decided to venture in. So exciting one...Anyway, found myself in a store and erm, that's where I found myself speaking to the sales dude and the next thing I knew, I was keying in my PIN and voila, a new digicam found me! I managed to find me some exc-, I mean, reasons for my momentary (sorta) lapse. But you know what? I like the thing. It's cute. Anyway, I didn't realize it was so late that by the time I got it, I kinda had to rush home and that's when I noticed calamity's house of mouse. Oh well, didn't really manage to stop by but the doggie reminds me of my colleague's pet and it looked cute.

So there. Now, I'm just a little zoinked out with a new digicam.

Now, have I mentioned that I hate being in photographs? And that part of me believes that memories mean more than photos but oh well, that's just one part of me. So, erm, we shall see which part of me prevails in time...

See ya!